50% Whine & 50% Funny

All About the Bits

50percentwhine — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:25:31 +0000

So……Winnipeg Joan is at it again! Only she could have an adventure with a sample Kotex pad hanging on her doorknob!

I guess they don’t call it Kotex anymore do they? Well whatever it was …was hanging on my front door tonight when I came home from work in a tidy plastic bag. Advertising at it’s best. HYGIENE PRODUCTS ..hanging on my front door, is not what I want the world to see, nor do I want to see that when I get home from a very crappy day at work.

And what has A Witty Kitty been up to these days? I do believe she is talking about penises again!

Someone rudely speculated that it looked like I had a penis. Oh dear! Definitely not. I WANT one. But not attached to me.

And now, direct from the lovely lands of Pennsylvania, I present the latest addition to this site, Mom on Roof! She’s a wacky angel with a truly funny perspective on our world. Please welcome her with this….

Last night my sister said to me, and I was just minding my own business, emptying the nasty sink-drainer thing into the garbage can, and she says, “Yeah, but YOUR baby doesn’t suckle from your teat!” HUH? Were we talking about teats? NO! Were we comparing her baby to my puppy? Not until she said THAT! I don’t recall, actually… if we were talking about ANYTHING, but that’s what popped out of her mouth! And It took me aback, because it hasn’t escaped me… this puppy is an awful dang LOT like a baby, she is filling some sort of need in me, that’s true… and I do hold her against me and snuggle and fall asleep listening to her coo… But, by GOD, she does NOT, in fact, suckle from my TEAT. Ick. Don’t say suckle and don’t say teat. … Nasty… My sister… continuously cracks me the hell up…

First Two Inductees

50percentwhine — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:48:46 +0000

Here is the first installment from one of my favorite writers, A Witty Kitty.

I had thought I had finally gotten over that thing called “being a control freak” but evidently there were still small fragments lodged in my calm and rather adorable exterior.

The second installment is from Winnipeg Joan whose blog title is “It’s Always Something.”

So I drove to the stop of the street and found a large gaggle of geese defecating in our park. I love nothing more than taking Penny for a walk and stepping in green shit. So I shot them. Now we will have a gaggle of goose for Christmas dinner said Tiny Tim.

Welcome

50percentwhine — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:02:58 +0000

All hands on deck for the newest and funniest online collection of off-the-wall remarks and out-of-context things that will make you tinkle.

Stay tuned.